Pirates One Half
by Emma Iveli
Summary: AU. The Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo. If you fall in you become whoever or whatever drowned there last. What happens when our favorite pirate crew falls in? Chaos that's what. Please R
1. How it All Happened…

A/N: Wow a supirse fic...Yeah, yeah I know I already did Straw Hats One Half... but you could say this is a remake of sorts... I'll put the differences after the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Ranma 1/2 if I did then Ranma would have had its ending animated and One Piece wouldn't have been dubbed by 4kids. Soon 4kids... very soon you will lose everything... Mwa ha ha ha!

Zoro: O.o Emma you're creeping me out...

Me: Ignore that, but I do own any OC that will appear...

Pirates One Half

By Emma Iveli

Chapter 1: How it All Happened…

A small pirate's ship sailed away from the island, the flag's skull wore a straw hat and the ship's figurehead look like a ram. For some reason there were only two humans on board, both female, one had waist long dark brown hair, she wore the same straw hat that the skull was wearing on the flag, as well as jean shorts and a vest that she wore as a shit. The other girl had short forest green hair, and wore a collared shirt, black pants and boots as well as a green sash with three swords on her waist she also had three earrings on her ears. Other than the two girls there were 3 animals, one was an orange and white cat… who had a strange mark on its left shoulder… as if it was like a tattoo, then there was a small black piglet with an unusually long snout that for some reason wore a bandanna on its head and goggles over the bandanna and finally a yellow duck, somehow some of it's feathers covered its left eye.

"That sure was fun…" said the brown harried girl.

The green haired girl shot the other girl a death glare… so did the animals in fact.

"That was anything but fun Luffy…" said the green haired girl.

Let's rewind to earlier that day…

The fridge… empty… the cabinets… empty… the tangerine trees… surprising still full of tangerines. One Monkey D. Luffy gave his trademark grin to his crew, most of whom were glaring at him.

"I can't believe you ate all the food…" said Nami.

"But I was hungry…" said Luffy.

"We just got those supplies from Rouge Town…" said Sanji.

"I know." said Luffy.

"I bet we'd still have some more left if someone hadn't helped him…" said Zoro.

Usopp whistled innocently… further implying his guilt.

Nami sighed as she checked her maps, "There's only one town on the way to the Grand Line… its called Amazon Village… I'm unsure if their have supplies though…" said Nami.

"Is there any other choice?" asked Usopp.

"Well we could always go back to Rouge Town…" said Sanji.

Both Luffy and Zoro froze… after what happened with the Marines there it was better if they didn't turn back.

"You know I think it might be better for those two if we go to Amazon Village… and besides we should get there in an hour if weather holds… it's on a very small island not too far away…" said Nami.

About an hour later the ship landed, after taking down the flag they headed into the forest. After wandering for about an hour, they came across a place with many springs, the springs had poles sticking out of them.

"I wonder what this place is…" said Nami.

"I don't know… but maybe I can see if I can see the village from those poles…" said Luffy.

He gum gum rocketed to a nearby poled and began to look around.

"I don't see a village but I do see a cabin over there!" yelled Luffy pointing towards a cabin that was across the springs.

"Maybe we can get directions…" said Nami.

"Sir… sir!" yelled a voice.

It was coming from a rather fat man wearing some sort of uniform, he ran besides the other Straw Hats.

"Is very bad if you fall in, get down now…" said the man.

"How did you know that Luffy can't swim?" asked Usopp.

The man sweatdroped "That not what I mean…" said the man, "It happen…"

Suddenly Luffy began to slip off the pole, after all it was is very moist and moist bamboo doesn't provide a good grip. Luffy fell into the spring.

"That idiot!" yelled Zoro diving in after him.

"That not good!" yelled the man.

"Why not?" asked Nami.

Less then a second later Zoro holding Luffy surfaced… but there was minor… or should I say major change.

"Oh no they fall in spring of drowned girl… very tragic story of young girl who fall into spring 1500 year ago, now who ever fall into spring take body of young girl…" said the man.

Luffy and Zoro looked at each other… it was true they were girls. Usopp and Nami were shocked, Sanji burst into laughter.

"You think it's funny?" yelled Zoro.

"Well actually yes I do!" laughed Sanji.

"What's going on?" yelled Zoro.

"This is Jusenkyo, every spring have tragic story… in almost every spring some one drown, if person fall they take form of whatever or whoever drown there last." said the man.

"Zoro's a girl!" laughed Sanji.

"You think that's funny!" yelled Zoro.

"You already said that…" said Usopp.

Zoro got out of the spring while Nami helped Luffy out of the spring. Zoro ran over to Sanji… he er… she wasn't very sane at this moment.

"You think this is funny? You think this is funny? I'll show what's funny!" yelled Zoro.

Zoro even though being a little smaller than he er… she was as a guy managed to push Sanji a few feet into the nearest spring.

"Oh no…" said Nami beginning to get a headache.

The thing that resurfaced wasn't human but a duck… a yellow duck that had feathers cover left eyes… it wasn't a very happy duck.

"He fall into Spring of Drowned Duck… very tragic story of duck who drowned there 1300 year ago… now whoever fall in take body of duck" said the man.

"He's a duck…" sighed Nami.

"That's kind of cool…" said Luffy.

Nami sweatdroped, apparently Luffy hadn't realized that Sanji can't cook as a duck.

Sanji flew towards Zoro and the two began to fight… it was in deed a very odd sight, a girl fighting a duck… mostly consisting of grabbing Sanji and pecking Zoro. After about 10 minutes Usopp (because Nami made him) tried to stop the fight… however Zoro punched him and Sanji… somehow managed to kick Usopp away while saying "Stay out of this fight!"… well Sanji quacked but it was along the same lines. Unfortunately he landed into a nearby spring. Much like with what happened with Sanji a human didn't resurface… but a small black piglet with an unusually long snout, this piglet also wore Usopp's bandanna and googols on its head.

"Oh no young man fall into spring of drowned black piglet, tragic story of black piglet who drown there 1200 year ago… now whoever fall in take body of black piglet" said the man.

Piglet Usopp managed to crawl out of the spring and sighed.

Nami's eye twitched… this had to be some weird dream… that what it was… right? Nami's hopes were dashed when Zoro threw Sanji. Sanji new to the concept of flight unfortunately crash into Nami. Nami stumbled back, lost her balance and fell into a nearby spring. All 4 formerly male/human Straw Hats knew doom was on the way… unless this was the girl spring then Nami was going to kill them no matter if she was small or not… particularly Zoro and Sanji. A cat came out, an orange and white cat with a blue mark on its left shoulder… that looked like Nami's tattoo.

"She fall into spring of drowned cat, tragic story of cat who drowned there1800 year ago… now whoever fall into spring take body of cat" said the man.

The Cat Nami was about to lunge towards Zoro when Luffy managed to pick her up.

"Is there any way to change back?" asked Zoro more concerned with Nami then himself… er herself.

"There's a way…" said the man.

The man led him to his cabin where they sat a table, he began to boil water. Nami had calmed down a bit but gave Zoro and Sanji a look of "If there's no way you two are dead…"

"I just realized something… Sanji can't cook as a duck." said Luffy.

Everyone sweatdroped, the guide got the hot water and poured it on Luffy… Luffy became a guy again.

"You change back with hot water…" said the guide.

He processed to pour hot water on Zoro, Usopp, Sanji and Nami… the last three were butt naked…

The guide grabbed his trust pool skimmer and ran like there was no tomorrow. The sounds from the cabin were "Nami why are you hitting me?" and "Nami I didn't see anything! I swear!" The guide learned a long time ago that a girl would more than likely harm any male in the room after transforming back for the first time… if she had no prior knowledge of Jusenkyo, which is why he always got the clothes and other items, which were floating in the springs by using the pool skimmer. After drying the clothes for a bit, he finally went back into the cabin. Nami was using the table cloth to cover herself, Usopp was hiding on the corner covering his eyes, both Zoro and Luffy were covered in bruises and Sanji… well he was unconscious due to blood loss… not because Nami beat him to a bloodily pulp… because he had a massive nosebleed. The guide sighed… this always happened when there was a group of visitors… usually pirate crews and there was at least one female member…

"I got your clothes…" said the guide.

After Sanji regained consciousness and everyone got dressed, the guide sighed, "There's one more thing I need tell you…" said the guide.

He picked up a bucket of cold water and splashed Sanji turning him back into Duck Sanji…

"You will change back with cold water…" said the guide.

"WHAT!" yelled everyone but Luffy… Duck Sanji quaked…

The guide sighed and prepared for the worst… the beating was brutal but he had learned to except it… caring for Jusenkyo was his job after all…

Next Time: They thought it couldn't get worse then into girls/animals when splashed with cold water... but it can... it gets worse... much worse...

A/N: The Differences Between Straw Hats One Half and Pirates One Half:

Characters:

Straw Hats One Half: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, Robin and OCs: Usa and Ko.

Pirates One Half: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami and Usopp as first... two new OCs will appear next chapter, Chopper and Robin will appear later on... so will Vivi and Carue.

Curses:

Straw Hats One Half: Luffy, Zoro and Sanji are cursed by spring of Drowned Girl... no other characters are cursed (unless you count Ranma and Genma's cameos)

Pirates One Half: Luffy and Zoro are cursed by spring of Drowned Girl, Sanji cursed by spring of Drowned Duck, Usopp Cursed with Spring of Drowned Black Piglet and Nami cursed with Spring of Drowned Cat. There will be two OCs who will appear later and join with curses.

Amazons:

Straw Hats One Half: Sanji angers one, she puts full body cat tongue on him...

Pirates One Half: Luffy and Zoro anger two by... well you have to read next chapter.

The Ranma 1/2 cast:

Straw Hats One Half: Mentions of characters, Ranma, Akane, Shampoo and Genma all make cameos. Jusenkyo Guide does appear...

Pirates One Half: Other than Jusenkyo Guide, I have yet to deiced...

That's all the differences I can think of for now.

Oh yeah the reason for the other curses, I once read that Oda once said about the animals the Straw Hats most resembled, Nami was a cat and Sanji was a duck... Usopp however was an armadillo (not to be confused with the Kuno's dog... okay that was pretty bad)... the reason why I chose piglet because of the manga/anime, so in other words Usopp/Ryoga, Nami/Shampoo and Sanji/Mousse.


	2. Oh, it Gets Worse… Much Worse

A/N: If you haven't figured out how Luffy and Zoro angers the amazons by now... well I guess you haven't read or watched Ranma 1/2... or haven't put two and two together.

Chapter 2: Oh, it Gets Worse… Much Worse

After the almost daily pummeling the Guide gets, he agreed to show the newly cursed pirate crew the way to Amazon Village… in fact he was going to pay for everything that was purchased, he got free stuff from there anyways. Unfortunately on the way there they had to cross an old bridge over a river, of course as luck would have a part of the bridge broke… right under Luffy and Zoro… the fell into the fortunately shallow river but were now girls.

"This is going to take some getting used to…" sighed Nami.

They got to the village with Zoro and Luffy still as girls. Inside the village the guide was surprised.

"Wow you very lucky, annual tag team tournament… this village famous for amazons… female warriors but have little contact with outside world, they have their own language here." said the guide.

In the middle of the village there was a log was hung, 4 young women who were amazons were fighting when two of the amazons fell off when their opponents knocked them off. The winners were a lavender haired girl who wore her in four buns on her head two on each side of and two very long pony tails came from them, she used a sword a weapon, the other had sky blue hair with two on buns in her hair and two braids coming from them she used two large colorful metal folding fans as a weapon. The Crowd cheered for these two women.

After the match, Nami turned to the others "Okay, Sanji and I will get supplies, Zoro and Usopp watch Luffy." said Nami.

"Oh great…" said Usopp.

"He's already gone" said Zoro or in this case Zoro-Chan.

The guide who was still with them thought "This is all too familiar…"

"Then go find him!" yelled Nami.

"Yes Ma'am!" said Usopp and Zoro-Chan.

Both went to look for Luffy, the Guide fallowed after giving Nami and Sanji a special card.

They found Luffy eating what looked like a banquet.

"Where did you get that food?" asked Usopp.

"Found it." said Luffy or in this case Luffy-Chan.

"This is bad…" thought the Guide.

Just as Luffy-Chan was about to eat a large piece of meat a large colorful metal folding fan came close to her throat.

The blue haired girl who won the match said something a strange language that Luffy-Chan couldn't understand.

"She said why you eat food? It first prize in torment." translated the guide.

"So this is the first prize for the tournament?" asked Luffy-Chan.

"Yes…" said the guide, "These two must have won…"

"So if I beat them there's no problem?" asked Luffy-Chan.

The guide thought fast… "But this is a tag tournament, you can't handle it by yourself…"

"Oh… Zoro, can you please join me?" asked Luffy.

Zoro-Chan shrugged, "Sure…" she said.

"Damn it!" thought the guide.

The two girls and Zoro-Chan and Luffy-Chan were on the log. A referee said something… which the guide translated. The rules were when both members of the team fall off the log the winners are declared. Their opponents were Fructis (the girl with blue hair) and Pantene (the girl with lavender hair). The match began, Luffy-Chan and Fructis fought, even in Luffy's cursed form she still had the gum gum abilities, she surprised the village by using Gum Gum whip on Fructis… knocking her off the log. Zoro-Chan of course fought Pantene as she also used a sword, being on a lock Zoro-Chan managed to knock off Pantene. Both Luffy-Chan and Zoro-Chan won. Usopp cheered on his crewmates the guide on the other hand was twitching.

Pantene and Fructis looked at each other then at the girls who beat them, the walked over to the winners. Fructis, walked over to Luffy-Chan and kissed her on the cheek, Pantene did the same to Zoro-Chan. Both Luffy-Chan and Zoro-Chan were confused. The guide was freaking out.

"What's wrong?" asked Usopp.

"The Kiss of Death..." muttered the guide. He grabbed Usopp then ran over to Luffy-Chan and Zoro-Chan as fast as he could. He went to search for Nami and Sanji.

Nami and Sanji had found most of the supplies… except for a few vegetables and spices when they both grabbed from behind by the guide. Even though he was literally carrying 5 people he ran faster than the wind. They actually got out of the village in less than a minute.

"What's going on?" demanded Nami.

"These two defeat amazons…they very prideful… if outsider defeat them then Amazon womans gives Kiss of Death, it's a vow to track the outsider to the ends of the earth and kill them." said the guide.

There was an award silence, "So wait… that girl's trying to kill me!" yelled Zoro-Chan.

"Yes..." said Guide.

"Has something like this happened before?" asked Nami.

"Yes actually, the exact thing happened earlier this year wit the singles tournament… in fact the cause is the exact same…" said the guide.

"So your saying that some other guy who fell into spring of drowned girl ate all the food then beat another Amazon?" asked Zoro-Chan.

"Funny… isn't it?" asked the guide.

They got to the same old bridge Luffy and Zoro fell though and… well its broke again this time everyone got soaked. After gathering everyone's thing and now carrying two girls and three small animals he ran to the beach. He ran all over the beach in search of a ship and found the Merry Go.

"This is your ship?" asked the guide.

All 5 nodded.

The guide put them down, then Luffy-Chan and Zoro-Chan climbed up while the others rode on them.

"Go! Go now! Hopefully they won't find you!" said the guide.

And so they set sail…

"That sure was fun" said Luffy-Chan.

The others shot him a death glare.

"That was anything but fun Luffy…" said Zoro-Chan.

"Oh okay…" said Luffy with a sweat drop.

I'm going to go boil water…" said Zoro.

And so Zoro boiled two kettles of water, one for the guys and one for Nami, she can change back in private. After everyone changed back. They had a meeting about their new curses.

"So what should we do?" asked Nami.

"About what, the curses or the crazed amazons after Luffy and Sword Boy?" asked Sanji.

"Both…" said Nami.

"Remember what the guide said…" said Usopp.

(Flashback)

Everyone has finally gotten their anger out on the guide. Who laid there twitching...

"Don't you think you went a little over board?" asked Luffy.

"No…" said Zoro.

"Maybe…" said Usopp.

"I guess so…" said Nami.

"What Nami said." said Sanji with a heart in his eye.

The Guide miraculously got better… much to the surprise of the straw hats.

"What the hell!" yelled Sanji.

"I'll explain, I get beatings more than 3 times a week a lot of them worse than the once you just give me, I've developed rapid healing abilities due to it…" said the guide.

"That's cool…" said Luffy.

"So is there any way to stop the changing?" asked Zoro.

"I'm afraid not, if you fall into another spring curses merge, no cure found… sorry… I give you advice I give everyone you fall in. Live your lives you normally would have other wise, eventually you will get use to the fact that you're cursed…" said the guide.

(End of Flashback)

"Usopp's right… we should listen to guide." said Nami.

"What about the amazons though?" asked Sanji.

"I say we fight them when they come!" said Luffy.

Everyone else sweatdroped, "Let's just up with something if and when they show up…" said Nami.

Little did they know was that Pantene and Fructis had seen what the ship looked like and the next day they set out after it…

Next Time: Fructis and Pantene show up... good they don't know about their male sides... bad Luffy and Zoro accidentally defeated them again... good they won't kill them... bad the law concerning a male outsider is what!

A/N: I have deiced to make this fic AU, very very AU, in fact I got a weird idea involving the Baroque Works saga... I just hope you like it...


	3. Amazon Law

Chapter 3: Amazon Law

It had been nearly a week since their fateful trip… while the curses were usually something that would take time to get used Luffy on the other hand… let's just say he was used to it and even liked it before the day was even over. The others dealt with it their own ways… Usopp found that now he was part pig he didn't have the heart to eat pork products. Zoro and Sanji found new nicknames for each other such as cross dresser, girly man and sword girl (for Zoro) and Duck boy, Mr. Quaky Poo and Dundie (For Sanji). Nami also a very sneaky way to steal things while as a cat. However the downside was that they were pirates and they changed with cold water… yeah that's a problem but they all agreed it was something to get used to.

Luffy was enjoying the day, the sun was shining, there was a nice breeze, birds were in the sky, crazed amazons wanting to kill him were in a nearby boat within eye shot, the ocean was exceptionally blue… Luffy realized something…

"I'm hungry…" he said.

Somehow he still hadn't noticed Fructis and Pantene just feet away in a small boat. He headed to the Galley hopping Sanji would be cooking, however to there to find Zoro and Duck Sanji fighting. He was going to ask Sanji to cook him something but changed his mind when he saw Sanji was a duck and Duck Sanji can't cook.

Usopp ran in at full speed, "You two should hide! The amazons are here!" yelled Usopp.

Both Duck Sanji and Zoro stopped fighting.

"What?" asked Zoro.

"Those two Amazon girls, they found us!" said Usopp, "And their threatening Nami…"

Duck Sanji quaked angrily, so he managed to get out Zoro's grasped and kicked both Zoro and Luffy out of the Galley. Note: They still are male.

Outside on deck, Pantene and Fructis were asking Nami where Zoro and Luffy were.

"I keep telling you… I don't know…" said Nami.

Then the two landed right behind the amazons.

"Oh great…" sighed Nami.

Fructis and Pantene turned around saw them. The two stood up, as the amazons began to attack. The two amazons, stopped when they realized they were about to attack guys. They touched their chests they were flat.

"You name Luffy?" asked Fructis

"Um… yeah…" said Luffy.

"You name Zoro?" asked Pantene.

"Yeah…" said Zoro.

"You no people we looking for…" said both amazons.

Zoro sweatdroped.

"Um… their only ones named Luffy and Zoro on this ship…" said Nami.

"I think they have no idea we're the same people as the ones they fought…" whispered Luffy.

"For once I think you might be right…" whispered Zoro.

Usopp and Sanji, who changed back, went out to why there weren't the sounds of fighting going on.

"What's going on?" asked Usopp.

"They have no idea that their female and male halves are one in the same" Nami whispered to them.

"I can understand why, their heights are different, and their hair is different, Luffy's hair is much longer a girl and Zoro's is slightly longer… not mention that their hair color is different as girls" said Usopp as quiet as possible.

"So I guess we should hide it…" said Nami.

"You girl! Where girl Zoro and Luffy!" demanded Pantene.

"Look their not here…" said Nami.

"You no tell you die!" said Fructis.

Both readied their weapons…

Luffy and Zoro got in front of them and fought the two off… defeating them again… and knocking them out.

"Nice going you too… and you defeated the exact same ones…" said Nami.

"You do realize that they will kill both of you now… that's what you get for berating them up" said Sanji.

"You do realize that they were going to attack Nami…" said Zoro.

Sanji tired to come up with a response but couldn't come with one…

The two amazons began to wake up. The looked at each other then Fructis glomped Luffy and Pantene glomped Zoro. Causing much surprise and confusion. There was a meeting the Galley… while Fructis and Pantene still glomped them.

"So I'm confused…" said Usopp.

Pantene took out a book and threw it on the table. Usopp grabbed it and read it or tired to…

"I can't read it… its in the Amazon language…" he said.

Nami grabbed, "The laws of the Amazon village…" she read, "In the event a woman warrior is defeated by an outsider… if her opponent is a woman she must give her the kiss of death… and Kill her! If her opponent is a man must maker her husband!" read Nami.

There was an awkward silence…

"That has to be joke! We barely know a thing about the island how can you read the language!" yelled Zoro.

"Of course I can't read the language… there's a translation right here…" said Nami pointing the handy dandy translation.

"I wish I didn't miss it…" said Usopp.

"Yeah you would have claimed that you already knew how to read it…" said Zoro.

"Wait can you please explain it?" asked Luffy.

After three very simplified explanations and a puppet show… that was also an explanation later…

"What do you mean get married?" yelled Luffy.

Zoro, managed to get out Pantene's glomp. He grabbed Luffy and he dragged him away to the bow.

"Do you want to get married to them?" asked Zoro.

"Well I would like to get married in the future… after I become king of the pirates… but not yet…" said Luffy.

"That wasn't the answer I was looking for…" said Zoro with a sweat drop.

He sighed, "You do realize they also want to kill us…" said Zoro.

Luffy sweatdroped.

Back in the galley, both Fructis and Pantene were giggling for a few minutes after thinking how lucky they were… while Sanji were waiting on them… Usopp laughed it the sight… Nami felt something she looked out and knew a very small storm was coming… very small… barely any wind, small waves… it was going to rain though. Nami warn to the bow where the other two were.

"Hey you two should talk about this inside it's going to…" said Nami but was cut off when it started raining… she forgot to put on rain gear.

"What was that Nami?" asked Luffy-Chan.

"…" said Cat Nami.

They had figured out something, even they still had the mental captivity to speak… they couldn't, because the animals lacked human vocal cords.

It stopped raining, meanwhile Pantene saw in the corner of her eye the two girls that defeated them. She turned around saw them. Pantene pointed Fructis them and they were off.

"Luffy! I kill!" yelled Fructis.

"Zoro you die now!" yelled Pantene.

Both Zoro-Chan and Luffy-Chan ran away like there was no tomorrow… probably wasn't to be if they caught them… As they ran around the deck they felt someone splashing them with hot water… it was Usopp.

"Thank Usopp… we owe you one…" said Zoro.

"IT was nothing for the fearless captain Usopp!" yelled Usopp.

Note they're were at the side of the deck. Just then a freak wave hit, by pure chance the ship was not damaged… however it did soak Luffy, Zoro and Usopp.

"Why doesn't this keep on happening?" asked Zoro-Chan.

Both Luffy and Piglet Usopp shrugged.

"Luffy!" yelled Fructis.

"Zoro!" yelled Pantene.

"Oh man!" said Luffy-Chan.

The two began to run again, after running around they found Sanji holding a kettle of hot water. Luffy changed first but there wasn't enough water to change Zoro-Chan back.

"Is that supposed to be joke?" asked Zoro.

"No I had to change Nami back first…" said Sanji.

Zoro glared at him. Then the two amazons showed up.

Husband!" said Fructis glomping Luffy.

"Zoro prepare to die!" yelled Pantene.

Zoro ran away. As Pantene was chasseing Zoro-Chan, the other 4 Straw Hats watched, while Fructis glomped Luffy's arm.

"When their guys they want them… when their girls they want them dead…" said Usopp.

"Why is this happening?" asked Nami.

Next Time: Fructis and Pantene are fed up with not killing Luffy-Chan and Zoro-Chan... so they kidnap Sanji! Luffy and Zoro must kill their female halves to get him back... however Zoro has an idea... it could mean either their deaths or the two amazons leaving forever... what will happen...

A/N: I meant to put this in the last chapter, okay, if you hadn't noticed already Luffy and Zoro as girls as refried to as Luffy-Chan and Zoro-Chan (same as Straw Hats One Half) while Nami as a cat is Cat Nami, Usopp as a piglet is Piglet Usopp and Sanji as a duck is Duck Sanji...


	4. Good Bye

Chapter 4: Good Bye

It had been a few days since the two amazons arrived. The Straw hats had no choice but yo house them while they were there. Nami since she had to share her room actually got along with them… which is very surprising as amazons don't usually get along with outsider women unless they posed no threat but in a since Nami did pose a threat, she they realized although she was a good fighter she couldn't hold her own a fight between amazons. On the other hand Pantene didn't like Sanji, as he didn't get along with Zoro among other reasons... They also learned a lot about the two that, Pantene and Fructis are twins, which is surprisingly common among amazons, as well about the amazons themselves, Fructis is pretty much a ditz when it comes down to she also knew how to play a few musical instruments but she didn't have any on her as she left most of them back at the village. Pantene was the polar opposite, she was serious most of the time and extremely inelegant, she was leaning how to speak the langue properly… she made Zoro help her… however both would go into a blind rage when they saw Zoro-Chan and Luffy-Chan.

One morning, Sanji got up to make breakfast, when he noticed that both Pantene and Fructis had snuck in during the night… again (3rd time) both were snuggling with their fiancés, of course he wouldn't admit… okay he has admitted it several times already… he was very jealous… while he wouldn't do anything to Luffy, he managed to grab a bucket and fill it with cold water. He splashed both Zoro and Pantene…waking up both. Pantene was a little groggy but then realized she was in bed with Zoro-Chan.

"Girl Zoro, it's your time to go!" said Pantene.

"Why did I teach her phrases before you kill a person." thought Zoro-Chan.

Then the chase began, sometime midway during breakfast Zoro managed to get his hands on hot water and changed back. He came into the galley glaring at Sanji.

"YOU!" he yelled.

"Yeah what did I do?" asked Sanji with a cool yet innocent tone.

"You know what you did!" yelled Zoro.

"I didn't do nothing… cabbage head…" said Sanji.

"Really, Donald?" asked Zoro.

Nami and Usopp sighed, they were going to start a name-calling duel again…

"Cross dresser…" said Sanji.

"Daffy…" said Zoro.

"Girly man…" said Sanji.

"Dundie…" said Zoro

"What is a Dundie?" asked Sanji.

"Its half duck, half undies…" said Luffy in between bites.

The two were about to charge each other when Pantene walked in.

"The girl Zoro is tricky, I can't find her…" said Pantene, "You two going to fight again…" she began to shake her head.

"Wow Pantene, Fructis impressed you learn to speak good in such short time…" said Fructis.

"Thanks…" said Pantene.

"Oh how did you sleep my lovely flower?" asked Sanji pouring Pantene some juice.

"Shut up…" said Pantene… she really didn't like Sanji.

"Yeah, after all Pantene is getting married to Zoro…" said Usopp.

Both Sanji and Zoro glared at him glared at him.

Just then Pantene got an idea, "Nami is there any islands on the way to the grand line?" she asked.

"Yeah a small one… why?" said Nami.

"Well it's because I'm not used to boats, after all this the first time on a boat for me…" said Pantene.

"Oh…" said Nami.

"Can we make a stop there?" asked Pantene to Luffy.

"Sure of course…" said Luffy.

"Good, Fructis, can I speak to you?" asked Pantene.

"Okay…" said Fructis.

The two met on the deck while everyone else in the Galley sighed.

"How long can we keep this up?" asked Usopp.

"I have no idea…" said Nami.

"We have to figure out how to get rid of them…" said Zoro.

"Why?" asked Luffy.

There was a very awkward silence.

"They still want to kill our girl halves…" said Zoro.

"Oh yeah" said Luffy.

On deck the two Amazon sisters talked.

"I have an idea how to kill them…" said Pantene, "Well we're not going to be the ones killing them… we ask Zoro and Luffy to kill them…"

"They kill themselves?" asked Fructis.

"No I mean we ask male Zoro and Luffy to kill female Zoro and Luffy" said Pantene.

"Oh… but Fructis doesn't think that they do it." said Fructis.

"I know… that is why we're going to kidnap someone first…" said Pantene.

"Nami? But Fructis likes Nami…" said Fructis.

"No not Nami, she's pretty cool… I mean Sanji… I don't like him…" said Pantene.

"You hate because he hit on you?" asked Fructis.

"Well yeah… and also…" said Pantene.

"Also because he make fun of male Zoro?" asked Fructis.

"Yeah, also…" said Pantene.

"The freaky eyebrow?" asked Fructis.

"Yeah and that's pretty much it…" said Pantene.

"I don't mind… but Fructis no want male Luffy to be angry with Fructis…" said Fructis.

"I know… but you know the law… unless we kill them we can't get married…" said Pantene.

"You right… but how?" asked Fructis.

Pantene held out a bottle of chloroform.

"Why you have that?" asked Fructis.

"I…. honestly don't know…" said Pantene.

Later not long after the ship landed Sanji was washing dishes when Pantene came up from behind him and used a chloroform soaked rag to knock him out. A few hours later everyone was looking for Sanji and the amazons. Zoro found a note in galley.

"Dear male Zoro and Luffy.

You see we have Sanji. If you don't kill female Luffy and Zoro then we'll keep him with us. We will give him back once you give us the bodies. Please come to them idle of the island Signed Pantene and Furstic…"

Zoro sweatdroped at Fructis' signature. Then he called everyone else.

"Guys I found out where they are…" yelled Zoro.

Everyone ran to the Galley.

"What is it?" asked Nami.

"I found this note…" said Zoro.

They read it and were shocked.

"Oh man, this is worse than the time we had to ask for directions…" said Luffy.

(Flashback)

A man who was rather fat with brown hair and glasses was on his fishing boat. When the straw Hats showed up.

"Ahhhh! Pirates don't attack me! I have a wife and kids…attack my daughter instead…" said the man.

"We just want directions to the Grand Line." said Luffy.

On the man's boat they looked at the map, that was clearly labeled "You are here" showing them were they were and "Entrance to Grand Line here" Luffy and the man were looking over the map for the past 5 minutes. Then Nami socked both of them in the heads.

"Hey was that for?" asked the man.

"You were being an idiot." said Nami.

"But geez, that really hurt you know… I mean I know its okay to hit him he's made of rubber… but ow… that really hurt…" said the man.

"Well sorry" said Nami.

"I know you guys are pirates and all but you should have some respect for people who aren't pirates… ow that still hurts…" said the man.

(End of Flashback)

the 4 were sitting around the table think of what to do.

"Maybe we can make fake bodies made out of meat." said Usopp.

"No, we are not wasting meat…" said Luffy.

Nami and Usopp sweatdroped.

"I have an idea…" said Zoro.

"It's not run away, leave Sanji with them and find another chef…" said Nami.

"No, sure I don't like him but… I wouldn't leave him there…" said Zoro.

He cleared his throat and whispered to them.

"That's suicide…" said Nami.

"I think we should…" said Luffy.

"Luffy…" said Nami.

"We can come up with something else…" said Usopp.

"What if they don't have the heart to kill us after we do this? And besides, either way they mat figure out the truth so we have to do this…" said Zoro.

Both Usopp and Nami were silent. Afterwards Zoro and Luffy left.

In them idle of the island Sanji woke up with a massive headache he found himself tied up with vines.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We kidnap you so female Luffy and Zoro can die…" said Fructis.

"What?" asked Sanji.

"We kidnapped you so our fiancés can kill the girls the same names in exchange for you…" said Pantene.

"Oh… wait why me?" asked Sanji.

"I don't like you…" said Pantene.

"Why?" asked Sanji.

"The fact you always hit on me, the ey6ebrow and I don't like how you treat Zoro... the male Zoro…" said Pantene.

"Oh…" said Sanji.

Both Zoro and Luffy arrived. "Remember I do all the talking…" Zoro whispered to Luffy.

"Where female Luffy and Zoro?" asked Fructis.

"We have a confession to make…" said Zoro.

He happened to have a bucket of cold water with him, he splashed himself and Luffy becoming their female forms.

"That was just a disguise…" said Zoro-Chan, "We really are female…"

Luffy-Chan nodded in agreement. Sanji's eyes er… eye was wide, he knew that the two couldn't run forever...

Both Fructis and Pantene were crying. The two who they thought were men were really women. They had some much fun with them… now they had to what they had to do… Both readied their weapons and were about to finish the job but… both didn't have the heart to… they dropped the weapons then picked them.

"Good bye…" said Pantene and Fructis.

Both ran away crying... back to Amazon village.

After untying Sanji they headed back to the ship. And so they sailed away from the island.

"Wow you were right... they didn't' have the heart to kill you." said Nami.

"I wonder what's going to happen to them?" asked Zoro.

"I guess what they do to those who break the law…" said Nami.

"I hope its not death… they were nice…" said Luffy-Chan.

"But they kidnapped me!" yelled Sanji.

"But wasn't only because they were fallowing the law?" asked Zoro.

"I wonder if we'll see them again?" said Luffy-Chan.

Next Time: They make to the Grand Line! Yay! When they get to the first island they find that the people there love pirates however there's something not right and it's not just the Mayor's creepy mouth...

A/N: I could help but to make that Family Guy joke, yes the man they asked for directions is Peter Griffin, if you noticed Luffy says "This is worse than that time..." which how they often start off cut away jokes.

Also things get AU next chapter and I mean really AU...


	5. Welcome to the Grand Line

A/N: Things start getting really AU in this chapter, to start things off Vivi and Igaram are not Miss Wednesday and Mr. 8, in this version two minor Ranma characters are. Also the way Crocodile is taking over Alabasta is way different, things will be explained later on. Well anyways enjoy this chapter...

Chapter 5: Welcome to the Grand Line

They finally made it, made it to the Grand Line. Sure there was a storm when they got there, while Sanji and Usopp were off little help as it was raining and… well you get the idea Nami on the other hand was smart enough to put rain gear on. Sure Luffy ended up inside a whale. Sure their probably doomed as waves and or rain changed the 4 man, 1 girl crew to a crew that's 2 girl, 1 duck, 1 piglet and 1 cat crew… Sure they may seem doomed… Sure… you get the idea…

They finally changed back to their birth forms… Nami was explaining how to use the Log Pose, which she received before hand.

"Each island has a magnetive field, this causes normal compasses to not work. This is used to point to the next island after logging in the island's magnetic field… however it takes some time for it to log the magnetic field…" explained Nami to the others in the crew.

Luffy was nodding every few seconds.

"Luffy were you listening?" asked Nami.

Luffy nodded.

"Are just pretending to understand and just nodding aren't you?" asked Nami.

Luffy nodded again while the rest anime fell.

Not too long later they began to approach an island it was a very fogy island.

"There's people here…" said Zoro.

"You think they're going to attack?" asked Nami.

"I have no idea…" said Zoro preparing his swords just incase. As the fog began to clear, the crew saw a town and everyone was celebrating.

"It's the heroes of the sea!" cheered a town's person.

"Let's celebrate!" cheered another town's person.

The crew was confused, they docked where there were more people welcoming them including a young man with blonde hair and blue eyes.

"It is great honor to welcome you to Whisky Peak, I am Charden Picolet II the mayor of this town." said the young man with a French accent.

"What's going on here?" demanded Zoro suspiciously.

"We celebrate the brave warrior of the sea… pirates." said Picolet.

"Um… how long does it take the Log Pose to set?" asked Nami.

"That is nothing mademoiselle we can discus matters after the party…" said Picolet, he grabbed her hand and kissed… um… if you can call it that.

"Cool!" yelled Luffy.

"What's the hell is he doing!" yelled Usopp.

The kiss enveloped Nami's whole hand it was almost like he was eating her hand, she used her other hand to grab her staff and whack him the head.

"That guy diverse it…" said Sanji.

"Now long does it take?" demanded Nami.

"It should be all set by night…" said a townsperson snickering at what happened, that always happened…

"Time to party!" yelled another towns person.

"Yay!" cheered Luffy and Usopp.

Inside one of the houses a party was going. A ton of girl's flirted with Sanji while Usopp told his sorties to those who listened Luffy got into an eating contest with Picolet who was now very surprised because he lost.

"Generations ruined… how can I lose to such a… such a…" said Picolet.

"Because he ate a devil fruit and devil fruits have a tendency to trump unknown powers" said towns person "That possibly are unholy…" the person added wit ha whisper.

Zoro was the only one not enjoying himself he was suspicious… very suspicious of them, he had heard of this place…

Meanwhile in a houses to too far away two people were guarding a prison, one was young man with bright red hair dressed strangely with a crown on his head the other was a girl about 16, she was dressed all in pink and had light brown hair with a pink ribbon on her head, there was also a large duck that was dressed in pink and look unconscious.

"Oh I want to go to the party…" whined the girl.

"Sorry but you can't go Wednesday, we have order to guard this girl… we both have to guard to girl…" said the young man.

"But Azusa wants to go!" cried the girl who's name was Azusa.

"How many times do I have to tell you… use your code name… you can't let anyone know who you really are…" said the young man.

"Fine Azusa called herself Miss Wednesday from now on…" said Azusa who with a pout.

The young man sighed "I know I'm not the best… but how did I get paired with her?" he thought.

"Can Francine go to the party?" asked Azusa… er Miss Wednesday.

"No Francine can't go to the party… he's unconscious…" said the young man.

Francine was the duck… it was doubtful that was the duck's real name…

"What about Mary Anne?" asked Miss Wednesday taking out a doll.

"No Mary Anne can't come…" said the young man.

"Sophie?" asked Miss Wednesday taking out a horseshoe with a lace to it.

"No…" said the young man.

"What about Constantine?" asked Miss Wednesday taking out a lead pipe that had two pink ribbon at the ends.

"No…" said the young man.

Back at the party house all the Straw Hats were knocked out… the food they hate had been drugged.

"Those little kids oughta know no body beat Charden Picolet II in an eating contest…" said Picolet to himself out loud.

"You should care more about the job right now…" said a cloaked figured who was at the party reliving itself to be… to be… well it's either a very muscular man dressed as a woman or a woman on steroids… very hard to tell.

"Well Monday, I guess you should see this…" said Picolet taking out Luffy's wanted poster, "I will soon have my revenge… Mwa ha ha ha!"

The… um… person named Miss Monday stepped back a few steps, "First we should find the swords man…" said Miss Monday.

"Right up here!" said Zoro who was on a roof top with his sword drawn.

Meanwhile inside the party house was getting up, she faked being knocked out, she was suspicious much like Zoro, she found a tea kettle and grabbed a bucket full of cold water. She went outside to find Zoro had started fighting the whole town. She went into an alley set the kettle down on the ground and poured the cold water on herself she set all of her clothes into a pile next to the kettle. She looked at her wrist, she was surprised to find out that it wasn't that rare for pirates to have Jusenkyo curses to such an extent that there were Log Poses that would shrink with cold water. She deiced to look around to see what she could steal, after if someone said a cat with a log pose stole something important then that person would look crazy…

Cat Nami looked in various houses and saw nothing, she had heard this town was known for bounty hunters but didn't find so much. As she looked around some more she found that Zoro was fighting a ton go the bounty hunter/ town people, she quickly walked away so he would notice her. As she looked some more as a young man who was one of the towns people/ bounty hunters ran into a house that seemed a little odd. She looked into the door way Miss Wednesday and the red haired young man were there.

"This is bad, Mr. 8 told me to get you two, I'm sure the prisoner won't escape…" said the town's person.

"Okay!" said Miss Wednesday she got up and flicked her shoes which became roller skates and she skated out.

"She's the one with the crazed hobby isn't she?" asked the towns person.

"You have no idea…" said the red haired young man.

As the two left Cat Nami thought she could see what this was all about. She saw there was a door with bars. She jumped with the bars and meowed in surprise. Inside was a girl about 16 with long light aqua blue hair, her eyes were wide. She had read in the paper that the Princess of Alabasta was kidnapped and there was a huge reward for her safe return… Nami had a brilliant idea. She looked around and saw a pink key… she wondered why someone would pain a key pink but she shrugged. She managed to get the key into the door and turn it, she had been practicing picking locks while a cat.

In the cell, the Princess of Alabasta who's name was Vivi was deep in thought, thinking about what was going to happen… she saw the cool open. She knew neither one of her gauds, one of whom kidnapped her pet duck Carue and renamed him Francine were allowed to open the door unless it was for meals, she had eaten an hour ago so she knew it wasn't for that. The one that opened the door was a cat.

"A cat? A cat saved me…" she thought.

She walked over to what she thought was an ordinary cat and stared at it, the cat seemed to stare back… what was strange was that the cat had a mini log pose on its paw.

"This is no ordinary cat…" she said out loud.

Cat Nami meowed which translated to "You have no idea"

Next Time: The Mysterious Miss Wednesday steals Wadou... and renamed it Clara? Oookay. Also Nami attempts to get the rewards for rescuing Vivi higher... all this and much more next time.


	6. Strange Fights

A/N: Yay! 1000 hits! Also more AU goodness... things are explained a little bit in this chapter...

Chapter 6: Strange Fights

Zoro had fought off bounty hunter after bounty hunter but they were no match for him… unless it suddenly rained then that would be a problem… After he was done taking care of the small fries Picolet showed up carrying a fork and knife on the roof top Zoro stood on.

"Interesting, so how did you know?" he asked.

"Well I used to be a bounty hunter in fact in you tried to hire me… I know a lot about this island and the ones who run it Baroque Works." said Zoro.

"That's nice, oh by the way I'm a frontier Agent, I'm Mr. 8, the lower the number the more powerful the person is… this is the lovely Miss Monday…" said Picolet pointing to his partner.

"Lovely?" asked Zoro.

"Yeah I know… but a Gentleman must always treat a lady kindly" whispered Picolet, "Our female partners are named after days of the week…"

"Oh really…" said Zoro who wasn't really interested.

"Well now that's for formalities…" said Picolet.

He lunged at Zoro with his knife and fork Zoro took out all three swords they began to block each other with the weapons.

"Suspired?" asked Picolet with a grin.

The red haired man and Miss Wednesday showed up next to Miss Monday.

"So Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday has arrived" said Miss Monday.

"So Mr. 8 is taking care of him?" asked the red harried young man known as Mr. 9.

"Yeah…" said Miss Monday.

Miss Wednesday saw something, "Cute!" she screamed out, "Clara! Clara!"

"Oh crap…" said Mr. 9.

She jumped up to the rooftop and kicked Picolet out of the way.

"Oh Clara come to mama!" said Miss Wednesday.

She grabbed Wadou from Zoro's mouth.

"Oh Clara… I'm so happy!" said Miss Wednesday.

"What the hell?" said Zoro.

Mr. 9 sighed, he jumped up to the roof and grabbed Wadou from Miss Wednesday.

"Um thanks… why did you help me?" asked Zoro.

"Well you see Miss Wednesday has a hobby collecting cute things…" said Mr. 9.

Miss Wednesday began ot angry with her partner so she began to hit him in the head with her fist

"Give me back Clara!" she whined.

"And when she sees something cute she takes it and names it…." said Mr. 9.

"Give me back Clara!" whined Miss Wednesday now using an ashtray.

"She doesn't care whether its stealing or not…" said Mr. 9.

"Give it back now!" yelled Miss Wednesday taking out Constantine the lead pipe and whacked him on the head with it.

"What's wrong with you!" yelled Mr. 9.

"I want Clara back!" cried Miss Wednesday then she glared at Zoro, "Give Clara back!"

"No!" yelled Zoro.

"Fine then… you leave me choice…" said Miss Wednesday.

Back with Cat Nami, Vivi continued to stare at her then she saw Carue. She ran over to her pet duck.

"Carue…" said Vivi.

The duck seemed to regain conciseness and happily quacked. After getting all the pink clothes off him Cat Nami meowed and motioned her to fallow… little they know a silent alarm sounded…

Back with the fight Miss Wednesday… began to fight… and she was good… she used a mixture of martial arts and figure skating. However Zoro wasn't doing bad in the fight either…

"Give me Clara!" yelled Miss Wednesday.

"For the last time no!" yelled Zoro.

"Fine then… it time to use one of my greatest attacks! Time to do the couple Cleaver!" said Miss Wednesday.

"Um… Wednesday… you can't use that as there is only one guy" said Mr. 9 who had learned long ago not to get into fights involving a cute thing.

"Oh…. Yeah… then its time for Dance of the Snow Bird!" said Miss Wednesday who began to spin around and kicking up dust which created a smoke screen.

"Great…" said Zoro.

However a figured appeared in the cloud, "I see her!" she ran towards the attack it… however it was Mr. 9… Zoro sweatdroped.

"That… only… works… if… there… are… two … people!" said Mr. 9.

"Oh sorry…" said Miss Wednesday.

"This battle is crazy…" said Zoro.

Just then he heard a shout "Gum Gum Pistol!"… it was Luffy and he was trying too attack him…

"Zoro… your going to get for what you did!" yelled Luffy.

"What…" said Zoro.

Back with Cat Nami, Vivi and Carue, Cat Nami led Vivi to the ally where she had her clothes and kettle. Cat Nami jumped into her clothes and poured the water… just a little trick she picked up for changing back. Vivi looked like she fainted... Nami began to wave her hand in front of her face.

"Are you in there?" asked Nami.

"How did you do that?" asked Vivi snapping out it.

"It's a long story…" said Nami, she sensed a storm coming… "Uh-oh… it about to rain… we should get inside…"

One of the houses nearby had its door open and they went inside right before it started pouring, Nami took the kettle and refilled it, she knew that Zoro was outside.

"So that cat was you?" asked Vivi.

"Yeah, I turn into a cat when cold hits me, hot water changes me back." said Nami.

"Oh… so that's why your concerned about the rain." said Vivi.

"Yeah… so your Princess Vivi, I heard about the reward…" said Nami.

"Yeah, I was told about it…" said Vivi.

"So you think you can get times the reward higher?" asked Nami.

"What?" said Vivi.

"I know 100 million berries is a good reward for your safe return but I think it should be higher, after all if my crew helps you there will be body gaud work, and the food not to mention living expenses." said Nami.

Both Vivi and Carue sweatdroped, "Excuse me…" said Vivi.

"You should consider it…" said Nami.

"I'll get back to you on that…" said Vivi.

Carue pointed outside, it had stopped raining.

"Oh good…" said Nami.

Both girls and giant duck went outside right when a shadow appeared accompanied by the sound of something falling.

"Dodge now!" yelled Vivi.

The heavy thing hit the ground hard and left a crater. A young blond woman was in it holding an umbrella.

"So you were lucky to dodge princess! But your not getting away this time… after all this is the third time you've escaped…" said the women.

"Miss Valentines Day!" said Vivi.

"That's right… Mr. 5 is taking care of your gauds… after all they did do a terrible job…" said the woman known only as Miss Valentines Day.

Meanwhile it was a fight between Zoro-Chan and Luffy-Chan… Luffy had woke up, and diced to wander around… he ran into some towns people/ bounty hunter not knowing that they were also the latter, they were hurt badly and he asked them who did it to them… they responded Zoro which angered Luffy… mainly because he did have the facts strait… the two began to giant fight… during which it rained… causing them t transform to their girl forms… and caused Mr. 9, Miss Wednesday, Picolet and Miss Monday to stare the site.

"Okay… they're girls now…" said Mr. 9.

"How did that happen?" asked Miss Monday.

"I have no idea… bit seems vaguely familiar…" said Picolet.

"Miss Wednesday find it familiar too…" said Miss Wednesday.

Then a bomb went off literally… it didn't stop Zoro-Chan and Luffy-Chan's fight… it nearly missed the 4 Baroque Works Agents.

"What's happening?" asked Miss Wednesday.

"You two failed in protecting the Princess she failed yet again" said a black man wearing sunglasses and a black jacket.

"Oh how cute!" exclaimed Miss Wednesday she skated over to the man and grabbed his sunglasses.

"Oh Kate Lyn! I love you Kate Lyn!" said Miss Wednesday.

"What the hell!" screamed the man, "Give me back my glasses!"

"It's Azusa's now!" said Miss Wednesday.

"Mr. 5… what are you doing here?" asked Picolet with fear in his voice.

"Well the alarm sounded and the Princess escaped… I was sent to get rid of Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday…" said the man known as Mr. 5.

"Um… that's Miss Wednesday… right there…" said Mr. 9 pointing to his partner.

"Wait… that the one who was guarding the Princess?" asked Mr. 5.

Everyone nodded… "What was the boss thinking?" asked Mr. 5.

"The only reason why she's an agent is her fighting… please end my life… she's making me go crazy…" said Mr. 9.

"You want to die so you won't ever have to deal with ever again?" asked Mr. 5.

Mr. 9 nodded… yes he was driven crazy by her that much.

"See I told you he'd be driven that much insane" said Miss Monday.

"So you were right and I was wrong… no big deal…" said Picolet.

Mr. 5 looked at Miss Wednesday and then at Mr. 9… "You know for some bizarre reason… you're not worth killing…"

"Wait don't go!" cried Mr. 9.

"I'm going to help Valentines off the Princess get rid of the Princess!" said Mr. 5 with a shudder, "Why Mr. 0 just doesn't fire her I'll never know…" he thought.

Back with Nami and Vivi, the were staring at Miss Valentines Day.

"It's shame that's its three strikes and you're out princess!" said Miss Valentines.

Mr. 5 showed up to help her.

"What happened to your sunglasses?" asked Miss Valentines Day.

"Miss Wednesday stole them." said Mr. 5.

"Funny… I thought you already met her…" said Valentines Day.

"…" said Mr. 5, "What do you mean?"

"Well I've met her once… ever wonder why I had to switch umbrellas?" asked Miss Valentines.

"What?" asked Mr. 5.

"Well she has a weird hobby of collecting things… it often involved stealing…" said Miss Valentines Day.

"You got to be kidding…" said Mr. 5.

"Let me guess she was the Princess' guard and she not worth killing?" asked Miss Valentines Day.

"Yeah how did you know?" asked Mr. 5.

"I only hear one explosion… hey wait a second!" said Miss Valentines Day.

Because of their conversation about Miss Wednesday Nami, Vivi and Carue took the time to escape.

"Damn it!" said Mr. 5.

"If you had met her beforehand…" said Miss Valentines Day.

With Nami and Vivi they were running for their lives.

"I think we should go find Zoro… she should be here somewhere…" said Nami knowing full well that Zoro would be in girl form.

"Zoro… as in Roronoa Zoro? I thought he was a man…" said Vivi.

"It's complicated…" said Nami.

They found Zoro-Chan and Luffy-Chan preparing their final attack in the fight, Nami grew an angry vein. Before they can strike Nami punched both in the head then grabbed them by the collars and lifted them off the ground. Both began to fight like little kids as they punched and kicked each other while in Nami's grasp.

Vivi sweatdroped, "What is it with them?" she thought.

After explaining to Luffy-Chan about what was going on she just laughed at it.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" asked Luffy.

"I already tried!" yelled Zoro-Chan.

Nami just sighed, and tossed the kettle to them. Zoro-Chan emptied some of the contents over her head and became a guy again then passed it to Luffy. Vivi seemed to faint again. Luffy waved her hand her in face while yelling "Hello in there!"

Vivi seemed to come out of it, "Sorry… I just never seen that before... did you eat a Devil Fruit?"

"I wish… then maybe we'd be able to control it…" said Zoro.

"So who is she?" asked Luffy.

"Her names Vivi… she's the Princess of Alabasta who was kidnapped." said Nami.

"And there's a reward involved isn't there?" asked Zoro.

Nami sweatdroped at this.

"So why were you kidnapped?" asked Luffy.

"It's complicated…" said Vivi.

"How complicated?" asked Luffy.

"It's very complicated…" said Vivi.

"Really how?" asked Luffy.

"I think you should explain… otherwise he'll just ask you until your driven insane." said Nami.

"Fine then, you see there's the Organization Baroque Works which run this island… the Leader Mr. 0 wants to take over my country…" said Vivi.

"How would that involve your kidnapping?" asked Luffy.

"Well you see he saved my father many times from assassination, so much he became a trusted confidante to my father… however the assassination … was all his doing to gain my father's trust…" said Vivi.

"Let me guess not your missing he's going to ask your father if he can be his heir if you turn up dead?" asked Zoro.

Vivi nodded, "That the plan alright…"

"So who is this Mr. 0?" asked Luffy.

"Please don't ask…" said Vivi "Anyone who knows his name will be killed."

"Who would know?" asked Luffy.

"Crocodile would…" said Vivi who then froze.

"Is that his name?" asked Luffy.

A Vulture and an Otter appeared, the otter was drawing something… it was pictures of Luffy, Zoro and Nami then the Vulture caring the otter flew away.

"Looks like we're marked men again…" said Zoro with a sweat drop.

Luffy nodded.

Nami began to cry while Vivi attempted to comfort her.

"I'm sorry…" said Vivi.

"It's no big deal…" said Luffy.

Nami glared at him "Oh really so the guy who has a 30 million bounty on his head and had amazons chasing after him wanting to kill him is okay with this…" said Nami.

Vivi sweatdroped, "Amazons?" she said.

"Don't ask…" said Zoro.

There was an explosion, which all of them dodged.

"So you thought you could away form us princess…" said Mr. 5 with Miss Valentines Day from the smoke.

"Things just get better and better…" said Nami sarcastically.

Next Time: They have to escape from Whiskey Peak... with assassins on their trail among other things... will they escape and who that mysterious stowaway? All this next time...


	7. Escape!

Chapter 7: Escape!

The two Agents looked at the pirates and Princess. Vivi knew they were in trouble.

"So you thought you could get away from us?" asked Miss Valentines Day.

"Friends of yours?" asked Luffy.

Nami glared at him.

"So you have some friends maybe you should meet us!" said Miss Valentines Day.

She got ready an umbrella jumped up high and began ot sore with the umbrella, "I ate the Kilo Kilo fruit I can switch my weight from 1 kilogram…" she and began to crash into the ground she made a big crater, while the three pirates and princess dodged "To 10,000 kilograms"

"That was cool!" yelled Luffy.

Nami hit on the back of the head.

"And I'm Mr. 5." He picked his nose and flicked the booger at the pirates and princess… however he missed and it landed in the ocean causing a very wet explosion soaking the pirates… "I ate… what the hell…" he noticed while the princess was there the two male pirates were replaced with girls while the females pirate was replaced with a cat trapped in the her clothes.

Vivi sweatdroped wondering why her rescuers had to be like that…

"They must like Mr. 2…" said Miss Valentines Day.

"What do you mean?" asked Mr. 5.

"You haven't heard?" asked Miss Valentines Day.

"Heard what?" asked Mr. 5.

"Well… oh great it happened again…" said Miss Valentines Day.

It was true they had made their escape while those two were distracted.

"We really have to stop gossiping about our fellow members in the middle of a fight…" said Mr. 5.

"Ditto." said Miss Valentines Day.

Meanwhile Luffy-Chan, Zoro-Chan, Vivi and Cat Nami hid inside an alley, Luffy-Chan carried Nami's clothes.

"That guy has explosive boogers…" said Luffy-Chan.

"His names Mr. 5, he ate the Bomb Bomb Fruit…" said Vivi.

"So what should we do?" asked Zoro-Chan.

Cat Nami began to meow like crazy then sighed at best she could, she noticed the was a huge patch of dirt nearby and saw a stick, she picked up the stick and wrote down. "We should go get Sanji and Usopp then go back to the ship."

"Wow Nami… I didn't know you could write as a cat!" yelled Luffy-Chan.

Cat Nami sighed.

"Sanji and Usopp?" asked Vivi.

"They're our crewmates." said Zoro-Chan.

"I found you!" called Miss Valentines Day.

She crashed near them again.

"Zoro, you should get them, I'll fight!" said Luffy-Chan giving her trademark smile.

"Okay…" said Zoro.

She took Nami's clothes and he lead Vivi to where the house where the party was held. Both were still knocked out. Cat Nami tried to wake up Sanji while Zoro-Chan tried to wake up Usopp. However it wasn't working.

"Looks like we have to do it…" sighed Zoro-Chan. She found a bucket and filled it with water. She splashed her crewmates turning them into their animal forms and waking them up in the process Vivi fainted again, Zoro-Chan began to wave her hand, in front of her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"How is this happening?" asked Vivi snapping out it.

"It's a long story…" said Zoro-Chan. There was an explosion right out side the house.

"Mr. 5 is outside…" said Vivi.

Duck Sanji looked at Piglet Usopp who just shrugged. Nami sighed… Then noticed a back door. She meowed loudly and mentioned towards.

"At least you helped out with something for once." said Zoro-Chan.

Cat Nami glared at him and Duck Sanji flew up towards him began to peck him… starting one of their fights while Sanji's a duck.

"Um… we should get out of here…" said Vivi.

Duck Sanji's eye turned into a heart and quaked happily then to the two stopped fighting.

"Perverted Duck…" mutter Zoro picking up the clothes.

They existed though the back door and managed to avoid Mr. 5. While Luffy was punching Miss Valentines Day. Duck Sanji saw this and started to peck Luffy-Chan reminding himself that Luffy-Chan was really a guy.

"Stop it Sanji…" yelled Luffy-Chan.

"Luffy! We should get going!" yelled Zoro-Chan.

They got to the ship where they climbed on board and sailed away since the Log Pose had already set… however…

"Oh no… I have to find Carue." said Vivi.

"Who's Carue?" asked Luffy.

"He's my pet Spot Billed duck… is that him in there?" asked Zoro.

It was indeed true Carue was in the Galley looking scared.

"You knew this was their ship and your hiding from Miss Wednesday?" asked Vivi

Carue nodded while Vivi sweatdroped.

And so they sailed away from the island with a sigh of relief.

"You think they will fallow us?" asked a voice who was female.

"I hope not…" said Vivi.

"Are you sure they're not?" asked the voice again.

"We're pretty sure… hey um… who's talking?" asked Luffy.

They turned around and saw a woman in her twenty with black hair and blue eyes wearing a purple cowgirl outfit.

"Miss All-Sunday!" gasped Vivi.

Duck Sanji fell in love the moment he laid his eye on her and his eye turned into a pink heart.

"It's been princess… did that duck fall in love with me?" asked the woman known as Miss All-Sunday.

"It's a long story…" said Zoro-Chan.

"Friend of yours?" asked Luffy-Chan.

"No she's the vice president of Baroque works!" said Vivi.

"So she's a bad guy!" said Luffy-Chan.

"But she also let escape the first time!" said Vivi.

"So she's a good guy!" said Luffy-Chan.

"Then she ratted me out…" said Vivi.

"So she is a bad guy…" said Luffy.

"But she was the one who informed my father that I was kidnapped anonymously and that I'm still alive." said Vivi.

"I'm confused…" said Luffy-Chan.

"If you want ot get home…" said Miss All-Sunday she tossed something to Luffy-Chan.

"What's this?" asked Luffy confused.

"It's an eternal pose to Alabasta…" said Vivi.

Luffy-Chan was confused even more.

"Who is your navigator?" asked Vivi.

Cat Nami meowed , she knew it looked weird. But she began to explain to Cat Nami about the eternal pose, that its always set to one island.

"Now we can get to Alabasta!" said Vivi.

"No…" said Luffy-Chan, she broke to the Eternal Compass wit her bare hands, "It could be a trap…"

Everyone but Cat Nami jaws dropped, Cat Nami began to maul Luffy-Chan.

"It's a shame… but will we meet again…" said Miss All-Sunday who jumped off the ship and on to a giant turtle… however they were too preoccupied with Cat Nami mauling Luffy-Chan to notice.

"Please stop Nami!" cried Luffy-Chan.

"I'm going to boil water…" said a very annoyed Zoro-Chan.

Later after introductions and expiations… and trying to get the reward higher on Nami's part, Vivi was explained about the curses after turning Sanji in his duck form and back.

"Why am I always the example!" yelled Sanji.

"Because it's the funniest…" said Zoro.

"Well I think you becoming a girl is funnier after all I don't have a so called rep like you do." said Sanji.

"What was that Donald?" asked Zoro.

"You heard me Girly Man." said Sanji.

The tow began to fight yet again.

"Does this happen a lot?" asked Vivi.

"All the time." sighed Nami.

"So how did this happen?" asked Vivi.

"It happened a couple weeks ago there's a magical place where people are granted powers… how the pow…" said Usopp but was hit in the head by Nami.

"If your going to tell a farfetched story…. Please tell it right…" said Nami with a sigh.

Nami told of what really happened. Vivi thought the story was false if it wasn't for the fact hat they actually changed.

"Are you sure that I should stick with you guys?" asked Vivi.

"Yes! You need help!" yelled Luffy.

Vivi sweatdroped before she could anything there was a loud squawk on the deck… it was very loud, it even stopped the fight between Zoro and Sanji. The left to see what caused that squawk… little did they know was that someone was back… and it wasn't someone after Vivi.

Next Time: A Strange package shows up, consisting of many locked box with combination locks and... two live animals... one seems to really like Luffy while the other really like Zoro and hates Sanji with a grudge. But there's something strange about them...


	8. Guess Who’s Back

A/N: Ranma and Shampoo is mentioned is this chapter, just thought you might want to know...

Chapter 8: Guess Who's Back

There was 4 large birds on the deck all of them holding packages. The small of the 4 held signing sheet and a small package with holes.

"Luffy I told you not to order mail order…" said Nami.

"I didn't do it!" said Luffy.

The smallest Messenger bird gave Luffy the thing to sign which he did and all the birds put down their packages and left.

"Luffy we could have just not accepted it!" yelled Nami.

"Who ever sent it us took the time to…" said Luffy.

Nami sighed as each person opened a package but Luffy who was fiddling with the small box (like shaking it and hit it)

Everyone was confused by the with the packages were… wooden boxes… locked with combination locks.

"Strange…" said Nami

"Why would someone send us these things?" asked Usopp.

"I don't know…" said Nami.

"Hey this stopped moving!" said Luffy.

"What do you mean?" asked Zoro.

"Well before I shook it would move then it stopped…" said Luffy.

"It think something was in there that was alive… and you killed it…" said Sanji with a sweat drop.

"Maybe you should open it and see…" said Vivi.

Luffy did open it ad found tow animals both very dizzy with anime swirl eyes. One was a sky blue parakeet and the other was a white rabbit with lavender ears. The parakeet seem to snap out of it and flew up to Luffy's shoulder.

"Yay! I finally have a parrot!" cheered Luffy.

"That's a parakeet Luffy…" said Sanji.

"A what?" asked Luffy.

"A parakeet." said Zoro.

"Their like parrots… but a little smaller" said Nami.

"Oh… I have a parakeet!" cheered Luffy.

Sanji picked up the rabbit from inside the box.

"I guess we're having rabbit for dinner…" said Sanji.

Both the parakeet and rabbit's eyes grew wide. The parakeet seemed to sigh knowing what will happen, it cover its eyes with its wings as somehow the rabbit began ot beat up Sanji… with anger and fear… probably with hatred… a lot of hatred. Sanji fell to the deck in a heap.

"Looks like we're not having rabbit for dinner…" said Nami with a sweat drop.

"You get got beaten by a rabbit…" said Zoro with a laugh.

"Oh no! Look at the huge wave!" yelled Usopp.

A huge wave crashed into the ship… no damage just a huge soaking… for everyone…

Later in the galley Vivi the 5 cursed pirates were waiting for the water to boil, the Rabbit sat on a chair with the parakeet on its sitting on the table, Duck Sanji seemed to glare at them…

"I don't think he likes the animals…" said Luffy-Chan.

"Of course not… the rabbit attack him." said Vivi.

"Well I like the rabbit…" said Zoro-Chan.

The rabbit seemed to be really happy about that. It eyes seemed to turn into hearts.

Duck Sanji still didn't trust that rabbit. Then something clicked in his mind... he pointed at them and quacked… however no one but Carue could understand duck. He sighed and waited until he was human again. Carue gave him a look like he was crazy…

After Sanji changed back, he said "That's not a rabbit! It's a human!" he yelled.

Everyone stared at him.

"Riiiight…" said Usopp.

"Looks like you really became a bird brain…" said Zoro.

"No really look!" said Sanji.

He took the kettle and poured the water on the rabbit… it became a girl… not any girl…

"Oh crap!" yelled Zoro.

It was Pantene, after slapping Sanji who was staring at her naked body she glomped Zoro then gave him a passionate kiss on the lips.

"Sorry… I forget to give the kiss of marriage last time…" she said.

There was no response… Pantene waved her hand in front of Zoro's face… he fainted.Well it's not everyday a naked girl glomps someone and kissed them.

"Maybe I should have put clothes on first…" said Pantene.

"Why does Zoro get to live my dream… I mean…" said Sanji.

That received a sock in the face from an angry Pantene.

"Wait Pantene… if you're the rabbit… then…" said Nami.

The Parakeet flew to the floor, Pantene grabbed the kettle and poured the water on it… it turned into a girl… not any girl.

"Hi Fructis!" said Luffy forgetting the fact that she tried to kill him.

Fructis glomped Luffy and gave him a passionate kiss, "Sorry… Fructis forget to give that to you when you defeat second time…" said Fructis.

"Um… Okay…" said Luffy not understand what happened.

"Who are they?" asked Vivi.

"Well it happened when we were first cursed…" said Nami.

Before Nami could tell Vivi the very awaked story to Vivi, Zoro regained conciseness.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE!" he yelled.

He received a kick to the head then a splash from a bucket courtesy of Sanji.

"That's no way to talk to two very beautiful ladies…" said Sanji.

"You should be upset with them… they kidnapped you!" yelled Zoro-Chan.

"Yeah but it was only so they could kill you and Luffy…" said Sanji.

"This is going to be awkward… I'm going to get my boxes and get dressed…" said Pantene who grabbed her sister by one her braids while the other two fought…

After Sanji and Zoro-Chan did their usual fights, the amazons twins entered the room fully clothed.

"So um… where did you get the clothes?" asked Nami.

"Oh boxes that come with us were stuff that Pantene and Fructis needed… we put stuff in Nami's room" said Fructis.

Zoro-Chan shut up Sanji by splashing with cold water turning him into his duck form.

"Look why… did you two come back…" said Zoro.

"It happen like this…" said Fructis.

(Fla…

"Wait I think Nami should explain what happened…" said Vivi, which Carue agreed with a quack.

Nami explained what happened at Amazon village and all the aftermath such as the engagements, the kidnapping and them leaving.

"As my sister was saying…" said Pantene.

(Flashback)

Note: Everything is spoken in the Amazon language.

Pantene and Fructis were standing on the bamboo poles of Jusenkyo, opposite them were tow very old and small women.

"Well Pantene… Fructis… you failed in killing Zoro and Luffy respectively…" said one of the old women wearing a red dress.

"Now you two must begin your training anew…" said the other wearing a orange dress.

"Yes elder Soap" said Fruits.

"Yes elder Lotion." said Pantene.

The two girls began to fight the old women at Jusenkyo when finally the two older woman knocked the girls into the springs. The guide watched this with a sigh.

"Blue haired girl fall into spring of drowned parakeet… tragic story of parakeet who drowned 1300 years… purple haired girl falling into spring of drowned rabbit tragic story of rabbit that there 1200 years ago…" said the guide in a board tone… he knew what was going to happen… another beating not because they weren't excepting it but because of the news he had to give them he was expecting quite a few beatings and a game of Guide piñata sometime that day but hey… it was his job and someone had to do it.

Later the elders who trained them Lotion and Soap waited for the water to be ready.

"Since you fell in your training is once again complete." said Lotion the one wearing an orange dress.

"But remember the curses are sign of your disgrace…" said Soap the one in the red dress.

"Water's ready…" said the guide.

After changing the girl's back.

"Oh by the way… I forgot to tell to you two…" said the guide.

"Well um… the two girls who defeated you… they are really guys who fell in Spring of Drowned Girl…" said the guide.

"WHAT!" yelled all 4 amazons.

After beating him up they headed back to the village, they were having tea with Lotion while Soap went to tell the other elder about what the guide didn't tell them.

"So what are we going to do..." said Pantene.

"I hope we can go back…" said Fructis.

"Why did you do something wrong?" asked Lotion.

"Well you kind of kidnapped one of their friends so we can try to kill them… then there's the fact that we tried to kill them…" said Pantene.

"Well you know Ranma… the boy who fell into Spring of Drowned Girl and defeated Shampoo forgave her, maybe these two will forgive you." said Lotion.

"But doesn't Ranma have a ton of other finances after him too?" asked Fructis.

"All that matters is that he forgave her…" said Lotion with a sweat drop.

"I just hope so…" said Pantene, "I really liked Zoro."

"Luffy's cool too." said Fructis.

"Don't tell me…" said Lotion.

"The same ones defeated us… but as men as well…" said Pantene.

"Funny…" said Lotion.

Two young amazons came in they were twins… fraternal but enjoyed the whole dress the same though, they were Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung.

"Hey Pantene, Fructis… we heard about what happened, bunch of us are going to lay Guide Piñata… want to come…" said Ling-Ling.

"Of course!" said Fructis.

"I'll pass." said Pantene.

Pantene still looked down as Fructis left wit the twelve year olds.

"Incase your still down… I have a gift you can give… one of them is after One Piece is he?" asked Lotion.

"Yeah…" said Pantene.

"Well I have something that can him there faster." said Lotion going to a cabinet, she took out an eternal pose.

"It's to the Country of Alabasta. Should speed up the process island hopping by a few islands…" said Lotion.

"Thank you…" said Pantene.

A few days later they packed up their things and ordered several messenger birds. They were ordered to find the ship of the Straw Hat pirates.

(End Flashback)

"Guide piñata?" asked Usopp.

"Its where amazons hit guide like Piñata, lots of fun and good way to get anger out!" said Fructis.

"Wait you said that you have an eternal pose to Alabasta?" asked Vivi.

"Yes elder Lotion went there on a training journey long ago... she also had one for Konegi island, but it was needed as a cousin of mine lives there. " said Pantene.

"What a bizarre coincidence…" said Nami with a sweat drop.

"Please let us stay!" said Pantene.

"Please!" said Fructis.

"Of course!" said Luffy.

"I need to talk to!" said Zoro-Chan dragging him onto the deck.

On deck they talked.

"Are you serous?" asked Zoro-Chan.

"They're really sorry!" said Luffy.

"But they tried to kill us!" yelled Zoro.

"But they it was because they had to." said Luffy in a tone that said, "I made my mind!"

Zoro-Chan could argue with that… because it was impossible to change his mind…

"Fine then…" said Zoro-Chan.

The went back in… "You can stay…" said Zoro-Chan.

"Yay!" said both glomping their respective fiancés.

Sanji sighed at best a duck could… later Fructis showed them her flute and violin… she was extremely good with which made the musician… that while… Pantene… she needed to figure out something she could do… but they were official members now… not mention that they were fiancés to Zoro and Luffy… this had to take some time to adjusting.

Meanwhile on the Island of Little Garden, Mr. 3 and his partner Miss Golden Week were talking.

"So when do you think the Princess will show up?" asked Mr. 3.

Miss Golden Week just shrugged while eating her rice cracker.

Next Time: Nami is sick... while Pantene does had medical knowledge she knows little of hat Nami has... so they must find an island so they can heal before its too late...

A/N: I have a lot of notes for this chapter first things first I'm not doing my own version of the little Garden Arc... I know too little about, I have no idea where to download fan subs and I don't want ot read translated manga on the web... there's a difference between the two for me, the anime by 4kids (evil!) and the manga is by Viz... Which my mom works for... do the math...

Also there's an inside joke from two of my fanfics first is the twins Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung in Merger of Cursed Worlds Luffy and Sanji accidentally defeat them and thusly becoming fiancés... which didn't make Sanji happy as they are 12 (Luffy was completely oblivious to this fact...) also Pantene mentions a cousin on Konegi Island, Konegi Island is from my fanfics with Usa and Ko also there is an Amazon there in Straw Hats One Half (who was named Pantene... my boyfriend's thinking about a fanfic with a Amazon named Pantene as well...)

Speaking of Usa and Ko, I wanted to so some comparisons to them... as their characters are very similar.

Relation:

Usa and Ko: Half sisters

Fructis and Pantene: Twin sisters,

IQ:

Usa and Ko: A ditz and genius

Fructis and Pantene: A ditz and genius

Sanji:

Usa and Ko: Usa's relationship is an platonic with Sanji, while he does flirt with her he understand she's in love with Hikaru, even after her pushing him into spring of Drowned Girl (Straw Hats One Half). Ko on the other hand... she hates his guts.

Fructis and Pantene: Fructis' relationship is platonic with Sanji, while he does flirt with her, he understands she's in love with Luffy, even after kidnapping him. Pantene on the other hand... she hates his guts.

There's one major difference, romance:

Usa and Ko: Usa, is love with Hikaru a boy who saved her life when she was young, Ko has no feelings towards guys what so ever (will change in the future)

Fructis and Pantene: In love with Luffy and Zoro, 'nuff said.

There are also other similarities and differences but I don't feel like listing them...I hope you enjoyed this chapter...


	9. Nami’s Sick

A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this one, but I finally updated this one as part of the overhaul... really sorry to those who have been waiting for a long time.

Also remember to request what story you want to see updated... enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 9: Nami's Sick

They were on their way to Alabasta… everyone was in a good mood… that until Duck Sanji and Zoro-Chan began to fight… the two did their usual fight until Duck Sanji missed while Zoro face… and peck in between the breast… Zoro-Chan twitched… even though she really wasn't a girl… she had this thing about the breasts… and she became really upset.

"That's it!" she yelled, she took out Alka-Seltzer from nowhere.

"I've been meaning to do this a long time ago!" she yelled.

Everyone but Vivi, Nami and Pantene tried to get him to stop and calm him down.

"Please stop!" said Usopp.

"Please… no kill Sanji" said Fructis.

"Who's going to cook for us if you kill him?" asked Luffy.

"That pervert duck did it on purpose!" yelled Zoro.

Sanji would never mean to do that in a million years… he's shoot himself before he'd do that…

"Idiots…" muttered Pantene.

"Is this always like this…" said Vivi to Nami.

Nami did look so good… "Yeah…"

"Nami… you all right…" said Pantene.

She placed her hand on Nami's forehead, "Nami you should get bed rest… your burning up…" said Pantene.

"But…" said Nami.

"Don't worry I know how to use a compass… Elder Lotion showed me how… and I'll sure that Luffy or my fiancé will get their hands on it… please rest…" said Pantene.

Nami reluctantly left to the girl's cabin as she gave Pantene the Eternal Compass. Pantene sighed… "I'm unsure if my medicines can cure it…" she thgout

Later she checked on a the sleeping Nami and checked her fever again, "It's hotter…" she thought "Better tell my brother in law…" she added with a chuckle.

She went up the deck and saw Sanji beating up Zoro for earlier fight… he wasn't very happy about the alka-seltzer threats. Luffy and Fructis were watching this…

"Luffy I have bad news… Nami's sick…" said Pantene.

"Nami's sick?" asked Sanji stop beating up Zoro.

He ran to the girl's cabin faster than a speeding bullet.

"He has issues…" said Pantene.

"Was it trick to get us to stop fighting?" asked Zoro getting.

"No… Nami is really sick…" said Pantene.

Not too long later Luffy, Sanji and Pantene were watching the very sick Nami.

"I'm good with medicine… but not that good… she has too high of a fever…" said Pantene.

"Maybe we can get her to feel better… let's give her meat!" said Luffy.

"Why meat?" asked Pantene.

"Because meat makes everything better…" said Luffy.

Pantene and Sanji anime fell.

"How is she doing?" asked Vivi coming into the room.

"She needs a real doctor... I may know some stuff about medicine but I've never seen a fever like this…" said Pantene.

"Your right…" said Vivi, "We have all the time to get to Alabasta… it's not like there's going to be a revolution…"

Fructis ran down the stairs "Hey guys! It snowing…" she said getting out winter clothes.

"That's good… at least it's not raining… snow doesn't trigger our curses…" said Pantene.

"Really yay!" said Luffy who ran with Fructis.

Pantene and Vivi continued to watch over Nami… when they head the commotion, "I'll be right back…" she said drawing her sword.

Pantene ran towards the deck they were surrounded by a large crew… long story short… Straw Hats beat up pirates… captain shows up… captain at Munch Munch Fruit… captain eats piece of ship… captain tries to eat Luffy… Luffy sent pirate captain flying… crew sails away…

Not too long later… they were approaching an island… it was a snowy island.

"Luffy, you cold?" asked Fructis.

"Why do you ask?" asked Luffy.

Everyone was bundled up for the weather… except for Luffy…

"It's freezing and all your wearing are a vest, shorts and sandals…" said Usopp.

"Oh man it's cold!" said Luffy finally feeling it.

Fructis could only giggle as the part with Luffy.

"What do you see in him?" asked Usopp.

And so they decided where there appeared no one on the island.

"So… who's going to search the island?" asked Pantene.

"I will." said Luffy.

"Fructis go." said Fructis.

"Of course I'll go." said Sanji.

That's when they found themselves surrounded by angry villages.

"Leave now pirates!" called out a rather large town's person wearing green.

"Why! We have a sick crew member on board!" yelled Luffy.

"We're not going to buy it this time." said one of the town's people.

"Please we're not lying." said Luffy.

That's when one of the towns' people shot Vivi.

Everyone gasped…

"Vivi!" cried Luffy.

Luffy was about to attack when Vivi stopped him. The bullet had only grazed her.

"You're a terrible captain." she said then began to bow to them… Luffy knew what she was doing and bowed along side her.

"Pleaser we really need a doctor." said Luffy bowing.

The man in green sighed, "Let them into town." said the man in green.

"Are you sure we can trust them Dalton?" asked one of the town's people.

The man in green named Dalton nodded…

They lead the crew minus Zoro (who stayed back with the ship) went into town with Nami on Sanji's back. After a humorous incident with a bear… they got back into town.

"Everyone back to you posts" said Dalton.

"They're civilians?" asked Vivi.

"That's right…" said Dalton, "The army fled with the king."

"I see…" said Vivi, "So this is… was… Drum Island."

The crew exchanged looks with each other, confused about what was going on.

They went to Dalton's house where they were quickly brought up to speed…

"So my father felt he could trust you enough to give the information about my disappearance?" asked Vivi.

"That's right, he had heard that I was helping to form a new Government with out the king after he left." said Dalton.

"Fructis confused…" said Fructis.

"I think everyone is confused here." said Usopp.

Dalton coughed, "There is only one doctor on the island unfortunately she's a witch." said Dalton.

"What you mean she witch?" asked Fructis.

"You see the giant castle up there?" asked Dalton.

Everyone turned their attention to a mountain with a giant castle on top of it.

"You don't need to say more." said Usopp with a sweat drop.

"Oh I want to hear more… like if she sends out flying monkeys to her enemies to strike them down." said Luffy.

Everyone stared at Luffy with sweat drops.

"No, she just comes downs everyone once in a while." said Dalton.

"That makes sense." said Pantene.

"So is the only way to climb?" asked Vivi.

"I'm afraid so." sighed Dalton.

"Nami needs help now. What are we going to do… and from what I read about this island if climb there chances are we will meet giant man eating rabbit." said Pantene.

"You are right about that." said Dalton.

"Giant man eating rabbits?" asked Luffy surprised, "All right! We will go! They're be not match for me!"

Everyone in the room stared at him.

"Nami… are you okay with that?" asked Luffy.

Nami was barley conscious but was listening.

"Yeah, I think that okay." said Nami with a nod.

"Oh great… she's delirious." said Usopp.

That's when Pantene got an idea.

"I don't think we have to climb." said Pantene who then had a strange look on her face.

(She has that look again…) thought Fructis in her native language.

"Sanji… Fructis… may I see you in another room?" asked Pantene.

Sanji and Fructis did indeed follow her into another room.

What came out of said rooms was something that didn't sound normal at all. Quacks and tweets that didn't sound well… right… came from the room. Pantene came back into the room.

"I have a safer though crazier alternative." said Pantene.

"Explain." said Dalton.

"Okay… we're going to need a lot of rope and a study yet light chair that can hold two people." said Pantene.

"Why would we need that?" asked Luffy blinking.

"Because, Sanji and Fructis are going to fly you there." sighed Pantene.

"That sounds insane." said Usopp.

"Do you want to climb that mountain?" asked Pantene narrowing her eyes at Usopp.

"I do…" said Luffy.

"Okay… Pantene maybe you should go though your plan." said Vivi with a sweat drop.

Pantene nodded… sure she was the smarter of the two amazons that joined… but they weren't sure just sane she was… all they know is that it will fail right away. But some the sounds of it… it was better than dealing with a bunch of giant man eating rabbits, right?

Next Time: Pantene does he hair brained scheme... which surprisingly works! Now Luffy, Nami, Sanji and Fructis goes to see the doctor. Meanwhile Zoro decides to go swimming with his shirt off and will learn a very important lesion... don't go swimming with one's shirt off when they have a Juesenkyo Curse!


	10. Pantene's Plan

A/N: All right this chapter is going to be a little different... this chapter is based around 22 Shorts Stories About Springfield and... wait a second (check title) ooops, wrong A/N... that's meant for PONIES One Half... not Pirates One Half

Here's the right one...

Hurray 10,000 hits... I know I haven't worked on this one in a very long time... but I'm finally updating! Hurray.

Also if you haven't figured out that was a joke, check out Ponies One Half... if only for Chapters 25 through 33 (let's just say I reuse certain OCs). Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 10: Pantene's Plan

Pantene was explaining her plan to the others.

"I had looked at Sanji and Fructis' leg strength while in cursed forms and I think that both of them can carry two people if they work together." said Paten, "I figure we get a chair strap in Nami and cutler and have Sanji and Fructis fly them there" explained Paten.

"There is no way we'll going to do your plan." Said Vivi with a sweat drop.

Sometime later…

"I can't believe we're going to go thought with your plan." Sighed Vivi.

Indeed Sanji and Fructis were in cursed forms and nodded in agreement, they had already agreed to it.

"Look… is there any other way?" asked Vivi.

"You mean other than climbing?" asked Pantene.

"I approve of this plan!" said Usopp, "Wait, I wouldn't have to go, right?"

"Luffy already volunteered." Said Pantene.

"That's okay in my book." Said Usopp.

That was when Luffy-Chan existed the house.

"Okay I'm ready." Said Luffy-Chan.

"This insane!" shouted Vivi.

"Yeah… probably is." Said Luffy-Chan.

"Don't worry… I'm sure everything is fine." Said Usopp.

"But it's still insane!" yelled Vivi.

"It will be fine!" said Luffy-Chan.

"You should stop trying to talk some since into this." Said Usopp.

Vivi sighed, "Fine… let's do this." She said.

"Okay!" yelled Luffy-Chan.

Luffy-Chan sat in a chair, and Nami was put onto his lap.

The two of them were tied to the chair.

The two humans cursed to turn into bards were tied to a rope.

"Are you ready?" asked Pantene.

The two cursed birds nodded. They began to flap their wings and it somehow worked. Everyone but Paten gapped.

"Told you it would work." Said Pantene.

"That should be impossible!" yelled Vivi.

"Yeah, yeah…" muttered Pantene.

Meanwhile Zoro was training. He decided to go swimming in ice cold water. Carue tried to stop him, but Zoro didn't pay attention.

He also didn't pay attention to the fact that he turned into a girl in cold water. So that was going to cause problems later.

In the ocean a pirate crew was sew arching for something. IT was the Tin Plate Pirates, they were searching for Drum Kingdom. That's when they found the island they were looking for.

Back at Dalton's house they watched as the chair flew away.

"So… I take it that wasn't Devil Fruits." Said Dalton.

"No… it's completed." Said Pantene.

"I see…" answered Dalton.

Vivi decided to change the subject.

"So Dalton." Said Vivi, "Why aren't there any doctors."

"It's a long story." Sighed Dalton, "Long ago, there were many doctors on this island… but then the former king got rid of them all."

Vivi gritted her teeth, she knew it was just like Wapol.

"Why did he get rid of them?" asked Usopp.

Dalton gritted his teeth.

"Wapol was nothing but a tyrant." Said Dalton, "Be wanted the best 20 doctors for himself and banished the rest."

"Wait? Wapol?" asked Usopp.

"That name sounds somewhat family." Said Pantene.

"He's the guy that attacked the ship." Said Usopp.

"Attacked the ship?" asked Vivi.

"Remember there was a pirate named Wapol who attacked the ship." Said Usopp.

Vivi's eyes winded.

"It can't be…" muttered Dalton.

"Why that…" muttered Vivi.

"You know him, don't you." Said Pantene looking at Vivi,

"I met him once at the Gathering of Kings." Said Vivi, "He slapped me, I think he was trying to start a war."

"How do you know exactly?" asked Usopp.

"I've been wondering that myself." Mumbled Pantene.

"I was one of Wapol's guards." Said Dalton, "I started with Wapol's father, and stayed on after he died."

"Oh…" answered Pantene who sighed, "Then what happened to the government?"

Dalton gritted his teeth, "Several months ago, a pirates crew consisting of only 5 members came here and deposited everything. Wapol instead of helping his subjects ran and didn't look back."

"That's horrible." Muttered Pantene.

"How can a king do that to his people." Growled Vivi.

"Thankfully everyone is recovering and we should have a new government up and ready soon." Explained Dalton.

That was when a very woman came up.

"Oh hello Dalton, I remembering hearing you were looking for the Doctor." Said the woman.

"Yes." Said Dalton.

"I heard she went to Gyasta." Said the woman.

"Thank you." Said Dalton.

"Should we go meet her and tell her about what's going on?" asked Vivi.

"No it should be fine." Said Pantene.

Meanwhile many of the guards protecting the island saw something.

"What is it?" asked the first guard.

"It looks like a woman swimming topless." Said a second gaud who was looking binoculars

"That's stupid." Said the third guard.

"DO the you the woman or me." Said the second guard.

"You." Said the thru guard.

"See for your self." Said the second guard handing him the binoculars.

The third guard looked and began to blush bright red.

"Who swims in that water?" asked the second guard.

"I don't know…" said the first guard, "But I want to see."

Zoro-Chan got a bad feeling however… like someone was watching her.

She looked to see and indeed saw the guards watching her…

On one of the island, a part not too far away from the town, but not close enough to just walk over and cause trouble The Tin Plate Pirates docked.

"What do you want to do?" asked a man with many afros… no seriously he had many afros one of his head, a couple on mustache and even two on his fist.

That was when the man who tried to eat Luffy earlier began to think.

"You know what. Let's go back to the cattle first thing." Said the man.

"I thought you would have gone to one of the towns and showed you had returned." Said another man in a strange outfit that sort of resembled a checkerboard.

"Yes, but if I return to the castle first, I can restart Drum Kingdom anew with out any problems." Said the man who tired to eat Luffy.

This man was Wapol… the former king of the island.

With Luffy-Chan she looked at Nami.

"I hope we can there soon." Thought Luffy-Chan.

She looked at Duck Sanji and Parakeet Fructis.

"Is there anyway to get there faster?" asked Luffy-Chan.

Parakeet Fructis looked at Luffy and began to fly faster in a way Duck Sanji could barely keep up.

Luffy-Chan was confused but then said "It's for Nami." she said.

Duck Sanji began to fly faster.

However they weren't aware of something… or rather someone watching them…

Things were going to compacted, extremely, extremely complicated…

Next Time: With Fructis and Sanji in their cursed forms, Luffy-Chan has to once again fight off Wapol! Meanwhile Zoro notices the guards watching him (or her) swim... how is he going to react? Find out next time!


End file.
